It's almost 2013... geez I feel old! I'm hoping the New Year can be my fresh start. Get healthier, go out more, enjoy singledom, meet more good people in my life, etc! There are so many things I always want to do and I never make time for it. I will make the time this year. More painting, learning more things like: 

How to get out of zipties and duct tape while in a trunk. Yes, I am watching videos on tactical training and my friend Daniel will be my assistant. I believe its important to educate ourselves on how to get out of extreme situations. Call me paranoid but these things are good to know! Not kidding! Ok im lazy towrite..

I promised myself my next blog would be non-relationship based. So here it is: I watch  LOTS of movies. In the theatre, just released on dvd & ones that I seem to have missed watching and finally have! To make this easy, I will list the films and give my personal two cents,  watch & pass. Would love to get your feedback if you are able to comment. Sometimes, I am lucky enough to discuss films with my dear friend, John who is a film guru.. I enjoy getting his two cents. Hi John! :) 

Films currently in the theatre:  ( I am a little behind.. sorry! )

Les Miserables- WATCH , the whole movie is done through songs so if you can handle that & three hours of it. You are good to go.

The Twilight Saga- Breaking Dawn Pt. 2- PASS only  watch if you have followed the series. If you haven't you will think this movie is a teeny bopper corny movie. 

Silver Linings Playbook- WATCH, already nominated for golden globes. Great performances by Bradley Cooper & Jennifer Lawrence. 

Wreck It Ralph- WATCH- best animation film in a long time. Adorable and great for us kids born in the 80's. 

Have heard but not seen myself currently in theatres: 

Django- WATCH

This is 40 - PASS

Hobbit- WATCH but not as good as the previous LOTR series

Lincoln- WATCH

Skyfall- WATCH

 Films recently released on DVD: 

The Words- PASS, good cast but fails in every other way possible way.

Total Recall - PASS , watching the same actions over and over. Best part: Looking at Kate Beckingsale

The Bourne Legacy- PASS, only watch if you didn't love the trilogy with Matt Damon. Personally, it wasn't bad though. 

Ted- WATCH, it's funny & about a talking stoner bear :) 

Dark Knight Rises- WATCH, that's enough said. You will notice character development for Christian Bale as Batman is much stronger in this flick which was very much needed to tie this up. Thanks John. 

Hope Springs- WATCH, funny, more of an older audience topic of getting old and not having sex :)

Expendables 2- WATCH, if you are a guy and have watched the classic ACTION flicks, its amusing.
Pitch Perfect- WATCH, playful and enjoyable if female. 
Savages- WATCH,this movie pushed the envelope and was entertaining. 
The Amazing Spider-Man- WATCH, better than the Toby Maguire series
Moonrise Kingdom- WATCH, awkward 2 kid runaways .. awesome!
Prometheus- WATCH, its more the discovery of aliens, not killings by aliens so much- sequel coming.
The Cabin in the Woods- PASS, cheeseball satire on horror flicks, sorry John! 
Snow White & the Huntsmen- PASS, the visuals are great but the story and acting fall short. 
What to expect when you are expecting - WATCH, fun take on pregnancy and friends
Hunger Games- WATCH, modern take on Battle Royale.
Friends with Kids- WATCH, somewhat depressing take on the life as a married couple with kids but real so I enjoyed it.
The Flowers of War- WATCH, deeply moving about the Rape of Nan King, Christian Bale rocks it again.
We Need to talk about Kevin- WATCH, real and interesting take on a disturbed child and a mother's struggle.
GONE- Pass, unexciting and bad plot. 

Waiting for release in theatre: 

Zero Dark Thirty
Gangster Squad
The Place beyond the Pines
Oz
Superman

1) Confident, not cocky.
2) Not selfish 
3) Honest
4) Loves kids & dogs
5) Funny

Is this too much to ask for in a man? 

i can't fucking move on.

  I may regret writing this but let's just say Merry Christmas. I promised myself NO DATING, NO SEX, NO NOTHING  for 6 months to 2 years. Now, 2 years may be a stretch.. so we will start with  6 months minimum and so far its been a month. I think the hardest part is no longer being physical or passionate with someone you love and possibly not getting constant physical gratification.  Although, I think most people would agree you have the best sex with the people who never stay around very long or who are complete douchebags. Why is that ? I think I know the answer but I won't go there today. Anyways, what happens when or if I don't stick to 6 months? Absolutely nothing. That's right, nothing. I won't punish myself for being a slut and I won't feel bad to anyone because I don't owe anyone anything anymore. Anyways, just started watching the HBO show "Girls" this AM, and I find myself to be very much like Jessa. Its about 4 girls in their 20's, amusingly sexual and funny. Jessa is the british hippie, she is very much laid back and doesn't give a crap, which I very much do so maybe I am half Jessa, half Hannah who is like an awkward kitten. I think this blog is seriously going to die soon or make people think i'm even weirder than they imagined. Oh yeah and if you are guy, learn to love to eat out a woman, because really loving it is the sexiest thing ever. Guys who don't- essentially don't want to please a woman.  Merry christmas peoples.

Will I ever love someone as much as I loved you? 

The Holidays aren't always my favorite but I wish they were. This Christmas, I was supposed to see the snow, go to Philly and meet my ex's family.Meet the Grandkids, cousins, brothers, the whole deal. I always dreamed of having a Christmas - the big family, wrapped presents and a big dinner. I  bought all my winter gear and returned it . I thought I was meeting my future in laws so today is a little rough. My flight was today. I just can't wait for the holidays to be over to be honest. Very Grinch I suppose but I'll get out of it.

Hi Peeps,

I really wish I could have some funny story or interesting event but it's not what is going on now and I don't think anyone is really reading this so I thought it might be a good time to express what I am celebrating soon. On January 16, it will be my 6 yr. anniversary for staying clean off of any hard drugs. I don't think people really knew how hard this was for me or how bad it got- I still can't have meth around me because I know I would do it. I think there were 3 people who ever really thought it was a big deal that I cleaned up. As I look back, at the fast times, the good times & the high times, I can't help but sometimes wonder if I was happier that way. I know that's not true, but sometimes, the urge to self-medicate feels like a promising solution. Right now, I have a friend who is dying off his addiction to heroin and I don't talk or see him. I wonder if he remembers us and if he wants to live. I wonder if he remembers who he was because I know he isn't the same person anymore. I am grateful and proud of myself for staying clean but the weirdest feeling is realizing that I am a totally different person now. I'm still trying to figure things out- who my real friends are, who I should give my heart to, why things happen that are hurtful etc. 

I don't want to write anymore, that's all. xoxo dee

MR . MACBETH- MY FUTURE PUP..... <3

With everything going on right now regarding the Sandy Hook Elementary school tragedy it really makes me think of all the people I love . People I know I would die for trying to protect them from any pain in this world.In the last month, I lost who I believe to be two people who I love with every piece of my being. One being my ex , who I have obviously mentioned. The other is my best friend, Tiffany. Time changes things and people change and arguments and relationships break. This happened at the same time last month for both relationships. This is something I have a hard time dealing with because as horrible of a thing that may have happened, if you knew that person was not going to live the next day, it makes you realize and question why if  it really was better to split ways. I don't agree that maintaining a very toxic relationship is healthy , but these people I would forgive or want in my life because life is short , love exceeds the pain & because no argument is worth a good relationship.Maybe with time, I can have them in my life again. XOXOdee

I am failing miserably at enjoying being single. Possibly because I haven't had time to do stuff  for myself because of work  & helping my sister with her wedding...or possibly because of pictures like the one above and how I think that having matching running shoes and making out in a trunk halfway seems like a good idea. The goal : No dating for 6 months, no hooking up for 6 months and if I can go longer then good for me.If I fail then , crap I tried.  At first I said no dating for two years but six months is a little more realistic. My blog would get much better if I did blog about my dates though... coming up I will be blogging about ALL THINGS GIRL- shopping sites & beauty tips. XOXO dee

Hi ! Thanks for coming back or visiting. First I want to thank a few people in my life who introduced me to some of the amazing musicians below. I have a very broad range of musical taste.. I love anything BUT country. Classical , rock, hip hop, metal, indie, trance etc. If you are able to leave a comment, would love to hear any good recommendations or your thoughts on my list. Some are pretty obvious :) Thanks! XOXO Dee


THE SONGS THAT MAKE YOU WANT TO...

Shake your head up & down- Ice Ice Baby- Vanilla Ice

Love Beethoven- Moonlight Sonata- Beethoven
Imagine a dramatic story in your head- Dance with the Devil- Immortal Technique
Emo- Drive in the Rain- Digital Sea- Thrice

Love Life- Don't Panic- Coldplay
Do drugs & run around- Untrust Us- Crystal Castles
Make Love- Colorblind-Counting Crows
Chill and look at nature or lay on it- Human Qualities- Explosions in the Sky
Paint -Stellar- Incubus
Love Violin & Dubstep-Crystallize - Lindsey Stirling
Love Clint Mansell- Summer Overture- Clint Mansell
Be a Sexual Bad Ass- Closer- Nine Inch Nails
Love Everyone-The Sun- Portugal the Man
Wear Vintage Clothes -Oh Boy- She& Him
Appreciate different instruments & tunes House of Cards- Radiohead
Party like you were in High School - (Possibly near 04')- Still D.R.E.- Dr. Dre
Love the 60's- Strawberry Fields Forever- The Beatles
Party like a douchebag- No.5- Hollywood Undead
Have a dream dance sequence w. a guy- Time of my Life- Dirty Dancing
Get Married-Flightless Bird, American Mouth- Iron & Wine
Be an angry teenager-Smells like Teen Spirit- Nirvana
Get some drums- Vicarious- Tool
Have a unique voice-I go to sleep- Sia
Appreciate a Rapper with good lyrics-The Way I Am-Eminem
Work out hard-Remember the Name- Fort Minor featuring Styles of Beyond
Dance at the club-Get Buck in Here- DJ Felli Fel
Get over a break up (for girls)- Like a Boy- Ciara
Love Underground Hip Hop- I Against I- Jedi Mind Tricks
Be a Gangster Girl :) - Go Hard- Kreayshawn
Find a true love- Love Song- 311
Take off your clothes(If you are a girl) - Get Naked- Britney Spears
Show your footwork on the dance floor- Billie Jean- Michael Jackson
Love Ryan Gosling (sorry had to do this one, from DRIVE soundtrack)- Under your Spell- Desire
Love old school trance- I see right through to you- DJ Encore
Love the 90's tunes- Ready or Not- Fugees
Feel mischievous- Clint Eastwood- Gorillaz
Appreciate a good oldschool/newschool remix- Young Forever (feat. Mr. Hudson)- Jay Z
My mom came into the room dancing (LITERALLY)- Phrenology- The Roots and Cody Chestnut
Do some yoga on a mountain- Fields of Gold- Sting
Get over a break up (unisex)- I hate everything about you - Three Days Grace
Wish you could sing (male)- Climax- Usher
Think about life- Bittersweet Symphony- The Verve
Be a teeny bopper- Beauty & the Beat- Justin Bieber
Revisit the good old days- I got 5 on it- Luniz
Don't want a relationship- Every You, Every Me- Placebo
Want a relationship- Sometime Around Midnight- The Airborne Toxic Event
Love Folk-Oh No- Andrew Bird
Appreciate a good cover song- Skinny Love- Birdy


Will be adding more.. :)

Been so busy this week- I guess I shouldn't complain because being busy is the best thing to do when dealing with a break up... or is it? Because there still will be those minutes where I feel empty and sad about loving someone that I can't be with. I promised myself nothing too deep but I really wonder how many people will keep following my blog anyways. I think out of all the guys I dated since 12.. 14..lol ?, I only fell in love twice. I may have said it to others but didn't mean it but thought maybe I did then. Anyways, this relationship I just got out of was number 2. I never met anyone who I felt so comfortable with. No makeup, sweats, naked , anything. I never met someone who made me laugh so much either. I never met someone who loved kids as much as me ever.  I'm not saying I will never find that again but this is a lot harder than I thought because in those moments where one might think it's just loneliness, its not. I miss this person. Our break-up wasn't the norm, things happened that I don't want to believe or I forgave it because I love him. I think we both know we can't ever be back together because of things that happened but I guess I hang onto that hope when I know I need to let it go. I am a big believer in everything happens for a reason. I know one day I will fall in love again, trust again and all of that but right now it just hurts. I'm sure most of you know how I feel. I hate those minutes in my day when I realize I can't love him anymore.

~Dee

Voted most Desirable Woman- Askmen.com's top 99 list. - Jennifer Lawrence.
So I decided that I will make a point to cater to a female & male audience the best I can. Although a beauty tips/product blog is coming soon..sorry guys. I plan on writing about films I watch since I watch A LOT. Back to Jennifer Lawrence, she just got nominated #1 on Askmen.com's annual poll  and I'm happy she did. She definitely doesn't fall into the Megan Fox /Angelina Jolie hotness category but she has curves , can actually act and her most recent flick, "Silver Linings Playbook" was amazing. She also seems like a nice girl, like the newer Jennifer Aniston and gives hope that guys really do like good girls.. LOL. Here is the rest of the list:
2. Mila Kunis
3. Kate Upton
4. Rihanna
5. Emma Stone
6. Miranda Kerr
7. Kristen Stewart
8. Jessica Gomes
9. Jessica Pare
10. Michelle Jenneke

- Dee

Hi, I have directed you to here because I somewhat want my blog to live past 3 days. So this was me about an hour ago. Minus the daylight, american flag & being a blonde boy. I went out to Los Altos for the first time, Downtown, I believe. I didn't park in a normal parking lot, I parked vertically in this lane but there were signs that said "3 hr parking 8am-6pm" . I parked at 5 pm and went back to my car at 6:30 pm. Well .. my car is  gone. JUST GONE! I first think it got towed and I was being an asian woman driver again. But.. other cars were parked there when I left.. so I realize its stolen. My phone is at 10%, I have a thin blouse with no jacket and so I call the cops. I also thought with the last of my battery I should update my status on FB <-- a little addicted and pathetic.. i think so? .. 3 cop cars in 5 minutes...got to love rich neighborhoods. Sweetest cop tells me to sit down in his warm car while he listens to how my work laptop is there , i was in a hurry, blahblah.  The other cop takes my keys and looks for my car when within 1 minute we all hear a really loud car alarm. The sweet cop says, "Is that your car?" I say, " I don't know what my car alarm sounds like." It is then I realize.. yes, that is my car and holy fucking ballsacks I am a dumbass and my car is right where I left it. Yes, I walked one too many lots over and no I did not think I was ever in the wrong spot. I was mortified, the cop said it looked like I didn't have blonde hair. I told them I was so sorry and they told me it happens all the time, but with older people. This is when I realize that I need to get some more sleep before I lose all my marbles or I better start doing crosswords and sudoku now because I don't want to know what I'm going to be like at 40 let alone 60. 

Oh yeah, if you did respond to my fbook post and I led you here to avoid further status update embarrassment  thank you for offering a ride or giving a crap. You are a good friend & person. 

XOXO, dee

Hi ,
You made it to day #2! I told my friend yesterday that if I don't keep posting about my blog on fbook after about 3 days, no one will go back and THEN that's when I can divulge all the good info and basically have a blog for myself. LOL. I was happy to see I got almost 90 hits but no comments :( Above is an oil painting that I will be doing soon for my dear friend, Julie. I call her Ariel because of her pretty red hair. Oil painting is something that I need to get back into and make a priority.  It's time to start doing things that make me happy.

Must go to Alaska to see the Northern Lights

Would love a sleeve but my mother would faint. 

Giving this a shot ..

Welcome to my blog! I've wanted to do this for some time to post my random thoughts & interests. I've been told by  friends  that I have a lot of stories/interesting events that occur and should write a book one day. I probably won't write anything too personal so it may not get very interesting, but we'll see how it goes. Let me first make a disclaimer: I am not a good writer, I write like I talk so this may be very short lived unless I see this thing gets some traffic.haha.  I created this so I can share my life observations,  love for art, music, poetry, fashion, nature, beauty etc. Enjoy.

Music Finds for the Day: 

Tycho- I found them today while looking for concerts that i can go to in the near future. They are coming to THE INDEPENDENT in SF in January. Very mellow & no vocals.
Check them out below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mehLx_Fjv_c

Cristina Grimmie- This girl does amazing covers of current pop songs, really talented. She was recently on Dancing with the Stars to perform "Titanium"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OA4fdiOqNMw

The XX- I got introduced to these guys today by my friend. Beautiful is pretty much how i would sum it up. The male & female vocalist apparently are best friends from childhood, I thought maybe they were lovers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD7IwXWfDW4&playnext=1&list=PL936F73A3C11B5790&feature=results_main

Current Obsession: 

Sia-has been around for some time, for those who don't know her, she is the female vocalist who has paired up with David Guetta for "Titanium" & Flo Rida for "Wild ones."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Icr1P_MzYIs

I have two concerts lined up right now that I'm looking forward to: MUSE & Local Natives , both in January. MUSE is amazing live & Local Natives is new to me but def. worth checking out.

Thoughts for the Day:

I guess I am excited this is free & if one person sees this, maybe I didn't waste my night. LOL. Current struggles?    For the first time in awhile , I am not dating or have a boyfriend. I need this more than ever but it doesn't mean I really want it. I'm hoping I do  soon though.. wish me luck!
XOXO
Dee