sometimes i wonder about if i will ever get married or not. i love to be alone in abnormal doses.. i find peace in being alone. a friend told me today about his grandma who has vertigo and can no longer sleep upstairs in her room. his grandpa sleeps everyday downstairs with her on a reclining chair. he does the laundry, cooks and takes care of her. i wonder if i will ever find a  love like that. someone to take care of me when im old and wrinkly. sometimes i feel as if my expectations are high and i get disappointed in my relationships- im a hopeless romantic. im in a good one now but i always wonder can i be with anyone i can see everyday ? can anyone ever understand my complex thoughts and reasoning. can my bouts of sadness never hurt them when they come and go in waves. i wonder.