i finally decided to move on. move on from the love of my life and accept that things werent meant to be. i know he is reading this and it makes me sad to know he is sad or angry with me for moving on. I don't think I was unclear about the situation. I knew we couldnt be together right now and he wanted me to say I loved the guy I was dating when that couldnt be possible to say. I realized though, this weekend that someone else does make me happy, puts a smile on my face and can maybe be the person i go to when im sad. i do love my ex bf, as someone in my life. i hope he finds love like i plan to, i hope he forgives me for choosing to walk away. its been a  lot of ups and downs- we made the mistake of too much contact as ex's and pointing fingers. he may say this is my revenge but the real problem was like the statement above, when you have issues that are fix-able and not worth throwing away a good thing- you dont. and i think thats where we failed from day one. sure i know i told him i love you after we broke up, but you dont fall out of love with someone overnight- but i am choosing to look at what is in front of me, as awkward of a time when i probably should be single, i have decided that someone has come into my life who is not worth giving up. i want to love him and i want to see where things go. as hard as this is for me to say goodbye to my ex, i hope one day he can say hi to me or remember me as someone who cared the world for him. some people just arent meant to be together no matter how much you try. he always called me coco and i will always remember being coco. its not easy saying goodbye to someone you see in pain and confusion but i need to move on and i want him to move on because he deserves love too.

you deserve love too.