i can think of about one person right now. good thing i dont think you read this.

Super Bowl .. Niners better win or else I will have unhappy friends & family! :( I won't be watching much, I am visiting B again at rehab since he will be released soon. I wish they could keep him there for longer. I'm bringing my other gf with me to see him. I hope he begins to remember how much we all love him.

Feist- Limit to your Love

I had a bucket list a few years ago, some of these were on there and some weren't. I decided I should document all the things I want to do in my life. Hope to do, will do, will always think of doing.

1. Ride a horse on the beach or just a horse anywhere.
2. Skydive
3. Bungee off a really high bridge
4. Quit my job & travel the world
5. Learn to play the drums or violin
6. Create art on a huge canvas.. im talking huge.
7. Follow  a band on a world tour
8. Buy a beautifully restored VW van
9. Publish an autobiography o
10. Be comfortable in my skin
11. Find the love of my life
12. Hot air balloon ride
13. Finish college so I can be a special needs teacher
14. Have an amazing weekend job such as: undercover investigator ..lol.
15. Learn Photography
16. Watch the list of 1,001 movies to watch before you die
17. Trust humankind
18. Know what it feels like to get shot- yes, i know what you're thinking.
19. Buy a ridiculously expensive piece of art
20. Support my mom and dad for the rest of their lives
21. Be alive to see the cure to cancer
22. Open up an orphanage in a third world country
23. Go to Burning Man
24.... need a break xoxo dee To be continued..

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/23-signs-theyre-the-one/

interesting read. true , although i believe that in order to get married to someone, you need to fall in love with them over and over again. explore new things sexually all the time. keep things interesting. not dramatic but interesting. 

sometimes you don't feel like you deserve something or  someone because you think you don't deserve it. what if it makes you happy but you're scared it will go away? i feel that way these days. im sad tonight because i dont feel so good, physically and im trying to rest so i can go out tomm for a friends bday. im sad because i keep getting these medicial bills that are high..so high  i just want to pretend they aren't there. but im happy because im watching a lot of good films tonight. catching up on things. one of the films i watched was "End of Watch," it was a very real and gritty account of life as an LAPD and as intense of a film it was, of course the line i remember is when the two partners talk about when you know you should marry someone. "when you can't live without them" is the answer, simple, but  at that moment i wished i could feel that way one day. I'm watching  "The Sessions" now, it is a critically acclaimed indie film about the true story of a severely disabled man. Smart and he went to Berkeley, 38, a virgin and explores life through a sex surrogate. I just started it but its beautiful. I looked up what a sex surrogate is vs.a prostitute. They work with you or here is the wiki defintion: A sexual surrogate may be a Certified Sex Therapist who is a member of a sex therapy team who engages in education and sometimes intimate physical relations or sex with a patient to achieve a therapeutic goal. I'm interested to see where this will go. I realize watching this film that he deserves everything in life too. That there is no reason to judge his need for sex and love. maybe this means i do deserve something, someone who is good for me eventhough i think i may not be good for it or them. im done for the night. xoxo dee

i love audrey kawasaki's art !!!

BLOGS A BORE.