http://boblivingstone.com/married-for-forty-years-how-did-we-make-it/

Interesting how things turn out. Im happy now, I have a good guy in my life who makes me feel happy. .So many things to do and see and we share the love for music and exploration. He has a good heart  and makes me smile.

Its funny actually how and what happened when I met Mark. I dated him and my ex at the same time and i chose to keeping seeing my ex instead. We didnt see one another until after my ex and I broke up , but he didn't change a bit and we instantly fell back to where we were supposed to be. There was a time I didn't think or want to love again.. my heart was broken and my future destroyed. I found out a couple days ago that my ex is going to be a dad.. with his new gf and besides being in shock i realized, that was the other sign that I was never meant to be with him. I was never meant to marry him or anything. My hopes with Mark are good, I guess it isn't the dream of marriage I want but the dream of an everlasting love and best friend that I search so deeply for. I've lost a lot of good friends over time and lost loves by my choice or theirs and I guess when I see an old couple still in love or exploring the world, I always hope that can be me. I think with any relationship there are struggles, I know Im not easy to date. My days are 50% good, 50% bad and there are times when i dont feel much at all. Im trying hard to be a better person, friend, everything but I know my safe place, in my room, alone is my sanctuary that often wins. I didn't think I could love mark so soon, but I do because of a lot of reasons. He is so sweet and loving. I love you.

you say he is so lucky and i have no idea why this always happens after i leave and cry.

sometimes i have no idea what im doing. what i want